She would think that was such bullshit, and we'd have loads of fun with it.
I met Lee about 10 years ago at an outdoor electronic music festival in NYC called "Festivus". It was the first event they held, and there was a small group of friends there. I had been WAITING patiently to meet this force. I had heard about her through mutual friends and I had an inkling we'd get along well. Well, that doesn't even cut it! It wasn't until later that fall that Lee and I became inseparable. I always think of our true friendship beginning after a drunken evening in the bowels of Brooklyn(to put it bluntly, it was BYOB and I clearly remember mixing my beverage of choice over a toilet in the ladies room) and us falling on a subway platform from laughing so hard. Our asses did he cleaning crew a service that Friday night.
We were in our early 20's...but we were embarking on a friendship that literally sails around once in a lifetime.
Countless evenings in her Park Slope apartment, dinners out, encouraging her to come visit me in Queens, gabbing about guys (for the most part we had the same taste in men. That sucked a time or two.), general gossiping, dancing on her couch, not minding when she bought the same couch as me, being her taste-tester when she made her AWESOME tequila sangria, chatting for endless hours on the phone after we had emailed all day, letting her borrow my car, letting ourselves reveal our vulnerabilities,and then seriously talking about our careers/accomplishments/next moves and always pushing ourselves so hard that we never had time to enjoy what we were accomplishing in the moment.
All of it...was fun. All of it, was genuine.
What I'm leaving out is that Lee and I also shared a similar passion for travel, and love of floating. We took a bunch of trips together, and generally just enjoyed any body of water and sunshine. Actually, to this day she's the only human being who's voluntarily shared this love with me. Tulum, Mexico was my favorite trip...if for nothing else because Lee told our resort the "clothing-optional" beach was "too naked". (no really, it's in writing on a comment card long since filed away)
On our last trip, though...my intuition told me something. As much as Lee would tell me she was okay, she was not. I noticed some things...and I wondered. Somewhere my intuition knew "something" was up. I tried to talk about it with her, but didn't get far. I was worried, but Lee always made sure I didn't worry too much. 7 months and 27 days later, Lee made the executive decision that her time in this life had come to an end.
Those closest to her have had our own ways of dealing with this intense loss.
I definitely got pretty pissed at her for a quick hot minute about 6 months after the fact. I got over that quickly, due to the one thing that continuously prevails. How much she loved every single person close to her. We all felt her absolute love in different ways. We felt her love, her support, and literally warmth emanating from her soul. We still hear it in her laugh, and I know..I still feel her. She is forever with me. Just when I need her, she pops up in her various forms. Lee was in pain, whether or not her pride would allow her to admit that. And on this day....2 years later, I miss her no less, but respect her decision no less. Mutual respect was what our friendship was based upon first and foremost...for better or for worse.
So there's something to embrace here....which is the fact that a presence such as Lee comes along once in a lifetime. It comes along to teach you both something. Hold it close while it's close to you.
So while I write this...in a Starbucks waiting out a horrendous NYC rainstorm, this came over the speakers. There's Lee again...(probably trying to point out all my typos before spellcheck).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFlNxDGPlvA
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