LEE

This morning I looked up the meaning of my dear friend Lee's name.   It means Meadow.
She would think that was such bullshit, and we'd have loads of fun with it.


I met Lee about 10 years ago at an outdoor electronic music festival in NYC called "Festivus".  It was the first event they held, and there was a small group of friends there.  I had been WAITING patiently to meet this force.  I had heard about her through mutual friends and I had an inkling we'd get along well.  Well, that doesn't even cut it!  It wasn't until later that fall that Lee and I became inseparable.  I always think of our true friendship beginning after a drunken evening in the bowels of Brooklyn(to put it bluntly, it was BYOB and I clearly remember mixing my beverage of choice over a toilet in the ladies room) and us falling on a subway platform from laughing so hard.  Our asses did he cleaning crew a service that Friday night.


We were in our early 20's...but we were embarking on a friendship that literally sails around once in a lifetime.


Countless evenings in her Park Slope apartment, dinners out, encouraging her to come visit me in Queens, gabbing about guys (for the most  part we had the same taste in men.  That sucked a time or two.), general gossiping, dancing on her couch, not minding when she bought the same couch as me, being her taste-tester when she made her AWESOME tequila sangria, chatting for endless hours on the phone after we had emailed all day, letting her borrow my car, letting ourselves reveal our vulnerabilities,and then seriously talking about our careers/accomplishments/next moves and always pushing ourselves so hard that we never had time to enjoy what we were accomplishing in the moment.


All of it...was fun.  All of it, was genuine.


What I'm leaving out is that Lee and I also shared a similar passion for travel, and love of floating.  We took a bunch of trips together, and generally just enjoyed any body of water and sunshine.  Actually, to this day she's the only human being who's voluntarily shared this love with me.  Tulum, Mexico was my favorite trip...if for nothing else because Lee told our resort the "clothing-optional" beach was "too naked".  (no really, it's in writing on a comment card long since filed away)


On our last trip, though...my intuition told me something.  As much as Lee would tell me she was okay, she was not.  I noticed some things...and I wondered.  Somewhere my intuition knew "something" was up.  I tried to talk about it with her, but didn't get far.  I was worried, but Lee always made sure I didn't worry too much.  7 months and 27 days later, Lee made the executive decision that her time in this life had come to an end.


Those closest to her have had our own ways of dealing with this intense loss.


I definitely got pretty pissed at her for a quick hot minute about 6 months after the fact.  I got over that quickly, due to the one thing that continuously prevails.  How much she loved every single person close to her.  We all felt her absolute love in different ways. We felt her love, her support, and literally warmth emanating from her soul.  We still hear it in her laugh, and I know..I still feel her.  She is forever with me.   Just when I need her, she pops up in her various forms.  Lee was in pain, whether or not her pride would allow her to admit that.  And on this day....2 years later, I  miss her no less, but respect her decision no less.   Mutual respect was what our friendship was based upon first and foremost...for better or for worse.


So there's something to embrace here....which is the fact that a presence such as Lee comes along once in a lifetime.  It comes along to teach you both something.  Hold it close while it's close to you.


So while I write this...in a Starbucks waiting out a horrendous NYC rainstorm, this came over the speakers.  There's Lee again...(probably trying to point out all my typos before spellcheck).




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFlNxDGPlvA

BELIEVE

"It's all make-believe, isn't it?" ~ Marilyn Monroe

...well the thing is, it's not.


Belief holds much more power than we're giving it credit for.  Belief is a power you create.
Take the power, set YOU free!


We all have goals, and dreams....and at some point we've under-estimated them.  I've learned, and continue to learn as I live this life from my heart, that belief is essentially your god given right!  (if you don't get down with G.O.D, fill in the blank!)


We're not here to believe what people tell us, or what the media "reports" to us, or what some person or another is trying to sell us.  We're here to believe in every single thing that supports us on a daily basis.  I've learned recently belief goes beyond your family, friends, co-workers, etc that are supporting you...it's your truth that supports you.  If you live from that, there's no bounds...life is limitless!


Believing in yourself at the soul level, a cellular level is what I'm getting at.  Feel the things you believe in most with every fiber of your being.  Feel it, breathe it, smell it, touch it.  When your beliefs are found on this level....you will not falter!  Your truth, your friends, family, co-workers, and even your pets are supporting you in every way to transform your beliefs into reality.


Breathe it all in...the love, support, possibility, and expand...into this constant of believing in yourself!

MEA

My friend Mea started off my week with an invaluable lesson.

Before I shed light on the lesson, I need to shed light on Mea.  I've described her many times as being the most brilliant person I know.  She's this sparkling package of optimism, humility, spirituality, walking/talking brilliance...really any words I use to fill in the blanks will not do.  Mea is just SPARKLING.  Our friendship developed quite unexpectedly, but I can easily say she is my soulmate.  And I'm SO lucky to have her on my side.

Bottom line is, this week I was made to feel as though I had failed at something.  The word "ADVERSITY" came up...and I was "guided" as to how I should react in this "time of adversity".  I, on the other hand only applied the meaning of adversity to the fact that this Bonehead may get my foot in his...well...

I knew deep down, it was a matter of perspective....and mostly MOTIVE that lead to this disturbing conversation.   Meaning, I know the manipulation directed at me was dead-friggen-wrong.  Some of us have been through this, right?  Someone or something claims it's wrath on us...somehow making us believe we're accountable for something in some way.  We take on the brunt, load, weight of the situation....and in general just feel pretty worthless.  Here's where Mea and her lesson step right in!

I kept thinking about this word "adversity" and it's meaning....AND the fact that it wasn't a word/meaning I've come across often.  A conversation with Mea led to the discussion of our own inner power.  (Mea and I keep it really real, and really deep more often than not)  How our growth in our personal and professional lives through the current lifespan of our friendship has found us our inner expansion into the world we were meant to create for ourselves, and the POWER we hold in it.  I've decided, that's my meaning of adversity.  And that's exactly how I've taken this situation by the potatoes and translated it into something meaningful and positive.

THANK YOU MEA, FOR HOLDING UP THE MIRROR!

There are so many times in so many places in our lives a person or situation will attempt to get the better of us.  And it's absolutely fine...to feel the feelings connected to that.  When you come across this hiccup of life, talk to a friend/a loved one/your bartender...someone who really and truly knows every inch of who you are.  Ask them literally or figuratively, to hold up the mirror.  It's easy to lose sight within pessismism and manipulations.  But it's also easy to find yourself.  BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE!

 ...and just as I was brainstorming this blog earlier this evening, intuitively (as always) I received an "I Love You" text from Mea, as I frequently do.

Saying I LOVE YOU to another human being has never been so easy!

INSPIRATION

It's been HOT in NYC for the past...well...3 weeks.

So, while I'm sure there's been plenty of perspiration....I'm just not so sure about inspiration.

My new gigs have kept me out of Manhattan for the past few months, until this week.  As I hoped on a subway route that was all too familiar for as long as I can remember...I couldn't help but catch on to all the drained human beings in that subway car.  This drainage continued in the 59th Street station, past Bloomies, and all the way down 3rd Avenue.  People were just hot and sticky and not connected in any which way to any particular thing.

I mentioned this to my dinner date, citing that I don't miss that feeling at all.  And I certainly do not,  but I felt myself painfully aware of what everyone around me was not.

WHERE IS OUR INSPIRATION?

There was no light in this city of all cities (sorry, I'm biased.  Deal.)  There was no buzz....barely a hum stirring in the people I encountered.  Which brings me to this.... A few years back I really and truly felt like I was done with NYC.  Somewhere around 2 years ago I began to rekindle my love affair.  Not just with New York, but with MYSELF!  I found the light in me...and just carried it around.  Sometimes in my back pocket, and sometimes in every single fiber of my being.  And by light...I mean soul.  My soul was connecting to something entirely grand which led to my own grand expansions.  Whatever it connected to is quite honestly 100% irrelevant.  The relevancy lies in the connection itself.  In the fact that I was driven, guided, and entirely motivated.

Take a minute, preferably in the comfort of some air conditioning, and remind yourself of the things you love.  Allow yourself a handful of moments to connect with what makes and continues to create you.  Stop moving forward, just be still.  Breathe it all in, and uncover these bits of yourself.  Hold it close to your heart, and make a deal with yourself.  Make a deal to connect in this way, or other ways...just a bit more frequently.  It's okay, I promise.

In this bustling world where we're literally working our asses off just to survive, find survival in what inspires you.

Namaste, lovey loves!