...IT WASN'T ME...

If you're reading this....chances are you're working on various areas of yourself.

Duh.

I feel, and have always felt that lessons are everywhere.  All day, every day, there is something to be learned about yourself in relation to nature (and all it's crazy elements).

Something I learned this week was HONESTY.  Not just in it's simplest form....due to some sort of BIGNESS that came my way.  I mean, even the little stuff.  White lies, specifically to myself.   Inner work takes some getting used to, just like anything else.  As a society I believe most of us to be groomed with a wicked sense of pride.  Even if we're doing this kind of work or just browsing....you could probably find about 4 white lies you told yourself today before your first cup of coffee.

- "Oh, I didn't clean that room yet because my life is way too busy to care about it (I was way to lazy to do it the entire weekend that I didn't do a thing).  

-  "My pants are a little bit tighter, but it's definitely not because of the 5 cupcakes I ate last night.  And the night before."  (I really had 6 cupcakes)

-  "Not sure why my boss is ticked off the minute I walk in the door...I'm giving him my blood, sweat, and tears to get the job done in a shit economy" (it's a shit economy...we're not as busy as we used to be.  No one will miss me if I'm a few minutes late.  EVERYDAY.)

-  "Nope...I didn't see that homeless dude on the train."  (He was singing off key and didn't deserve the money I'm not working hard to earn)

...and so on.

So here's the thing....I think this pride, and these lies are nothing short of toxic.  Tell yourself the truth, the ENTIRE truth, for one full day.  Yep...I was just a complete dick to my best friend.  Nope...I didn't do anything productive the first 2 hours of my work day.   Yep...I just lied to my mother about not calling her.  JUST DO IT, and see what happens.  Chances are, you'll feel a little freedom.  And maybe....a little more connected to the reasoning behind doing (or not doing) the things your doing (or not doing).  It's called Self Sabotage, folks.  I was kidding myself before when I thought through all this work on myself, that I was behaving in a healthy way.   One of my clients outwardly admitted recently there was no way she was being honest with herself.  Not in her work, and not in other areas either.  She held herself fully responsible (a key word for her), and actually felt GIDDY at the opportunity to change it all around.

I figure, if you can't be honest with yourself....the truest form of your forgiving self...you're S.O.L.  You are your one constant, and your most forgiving/nurturing/understanding force.   Time to start calling yourself out!  And then....take it all in(ward).

Embrace honesty.

Love every imperfect inch of yourself.